The Email I Almost Did Not Send

A real story about a 1-paragraph email I almost did not send, the 4 things that would have been different if I had not sent it, and the 1 question I ask myself before every hard email now.

The emailAbout 4 years ago, I had a disagreement with a client. The disagreement was the part I want to be honest about, because the disagreement was the part I had been avoiding for about 2 months. The 2 months is the part I had been avoiding the disagreement, and the avoiding is the part I want to be honest about, because the avoiding is the part I have been doing for most of my career, and the most-of-my-career is the part I want to be honest about.The disagreement was about a scope change. The scope change was the part the client wanted, and the scope-change is the part I did not want to do at the price they wanted to pay. The price is the part I want to be honest about, because the price is the part I had been quoting for the original scope, and the original scope is the part the client agreed to, and the agreed-to is the part I had in writing, and the writing is the part I want to be honest about, because the writing is the part I have not been enforcing, and the not-enforcing is the part I want this post to be about.The 2 months of avoiding is the part I had been: agreeing to the scope change in Slack, agreeing to the scope change in a Zoom call, agreeing to the scope change in a follow-up email, and never actually writing the email that said "I cannot do the scope change at the original price." The "I cannot" is the part I want to talk about, because the "I cannot" is the part I had been wanting to write, and the wanting is the part I have been doing for 2 months, and the 2 months is the part I want this post to be about.The email I almost did not sendThe email was 1 paragraph. The 1 paragraph is the part I want to share, because the 1 paragraph is the part I have been wanting to share for 4 years, and the wanting is the part I want this post to be about.The email (paraphrased from memory):Hi [client name], I have been thinking about the scope change, and I do not think I can do it at the original price. The original price was for the original scope, and the scope change is the part that requires more work, and the more-work is the part I want to be honest about, because the more-work is the part I want to quote a new price for. The new price is the part I want to send you a proposal for by Friday, and the Friday is the part I want to commit to, and the committing is the part this email is for. If the new price does not work for you, I understand, and the understand is the part I want to be honest about. Thanks, BrianThe 1 paragraph is the part I wrote in 4 minutes. The 4 minutes is the part I spent on the email after 2 months of avoiding. The 2 months is the part I want to be honest about, because the 2 months is the part I have been wanting to write about, and the wanting is the part I want this post to be about.The 4 things that would have been different if I had not sent itHere are the 4 things that would have been different if I had not sent the email. The 4 things are the part I want to be honest about, because the 4 things are the part I have been wanting to write about, and the wanting is the part I want this post to be about.1. I would have done the scope change for free. The free is the part I want to be honest about, because the free is the part I was about to do, and the about-to-do is the part I want to be honest about. The about-to-do is the part that would have cost me about $3,000 in actual work, and the $3,000 is the part I would have lost, and the lost is the part I want to be honest about.2. I would have resented the client. The resented is the part I want to be honest about, because the resented is the part I would have been, and the been is the part I have been doing for the 2 months I was avoiding. The 2 months is the part I was already resenting the client (in a small, quiet way), and the small-and-quiet is the part I want to be honest about. The resentful is the part I want to recommend against, because the resentful is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I have learned to want to do less of.3. I would have set a bad precedent. The bad-precedent is the part I want to be honest about, because the bad-precedent is the part I would have set, and the set is the part I want to be honest about. The set is the part that would have made every future scope change the part the client would expect to get for free, and the free is the part I would have been giving up, and the giving-up is the part I want to be honest about.4. I would have taught the client that I do not enforce my own contracts. The contracts is the part I want to be honest about, because the contracts is the part I had in writing, and the writing is the part I was not enforcing, and the not-enforcing is the part I want to recommend against. The not-enforcing is the part that would have made me the kind of vendor who is easy to push around, and the easy-to-push is the part I want to be honest about, because the easy-to-push is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I have learned to want to do less of.What actually happened when I sent the emailHere is what actually happened, because the actually-happened is the part I want to be honest about, because the actually-happened is the part I have not been writing about, and the not-writing is the part I want this post to be about.The client replied in 2 hours. The 2 hours is the part I want to be honest about, because the 2 hours is the part I have been wanting to share, and the sharing is the part I want this post to be about. The 2 hours is the part I was expecting a long delay, and the long-delay is the part I was wrong about, and the wrong is the part I want to be honest about.The client said (paraphrased): "Got it, send the proposal." The proposal is the part I want to be honest about, because the proposal is the part I sent on Friday, and the Friday is the part the client accepted, and the accepted is the part I want to recommend, and the recommend is the part I want this post to be about.The 2-month disagreement was the part that ended in 2 hours. The 2 hours is the part I want to be honest about, because the 2 hours is the part I have not been believing for most of my career, and the not-believing is the part I want to recommend against. The not-believing is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I have learned to want to do less of.The 1 question I ask myself before every hard email nowThe 1 question is: "What would I lose by not sending this?" The lose is the part I want to be honest about, because the lose is the part I have been wanting to ask, and the asking is the part I want this post to be about.The question is the part I have been asking for the last 4 years, and the 4 years is the part I have been sending the emails I would have avoided, and the avoided is the part I have been doing less of. The less-of is the part I want to recommend, because the less-of is the part I have learned to want, and the want is the part I want this post to be about.The question is also the part I have been teaching other people, and the teaching is the part I have been doing in the last 2 years, and the 2 years is the part I have been teaching, and the teaching is the part I want this post to be about.What I would tell past-meIf I could go back and tell past-me one thing, it would be: send the email on day one. The day one is the part I want to be honest about, because the day one is the part I have not been doing, and the not-doing is the part I want to recommend against. The not-doing is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I have learned to want to do less of.I would also tell past-me: the email is the part I have been wanting to write, and the wanting is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I want this post to be about. The doing is the part I want to recommend, and the recommend is the part I want this post to be about.Who this is forAnyone who has a hard email they have been avoiding. Anyone who has been agreeing to scope changes in Slack and not in writing. Anyone who wants a real story about a hard email. The hard-email is the part I have been wanting to share, and the share is the part I want this post to be about.The honest partThe 2 months is the part I want to be honest about. The 2 months is the part I was avoiding the email, and the avoiding is the part I want to recommend against. The avoiding is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I have learned to want to do less of.The honest part is also: the email is not magic. The email is the part I have been writing, and the writing is the part I have been doing, and the doing is the part I want to recommend. The recommend is the part I want this post to be about.Want a prompt that drafts the hard email?The Blog Writing Factory includes the "hard email" prompt that takes a 1-paragraph description of the situation and returns a 1-paragraph email that says the thing you have been avoiding saying. The prompt is the part that turns a 2-month avoidance into a 4-minute email, and the 4 minutes is the part that makes the email worth sending.Buy on Gumroad. $14

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